Last week 2 women shared with me their anguish over minimizing to downsize into smaller quarters. Whether you’re staying in your own home and storage space is super tight or moving to less square footage, decisions about what to keep or release is taxing. I totally get it.
They were embarrassed that they struggle with letting go. Not to make light of their emotions, but there truly is no reason to be embarrassed. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and even for professional organizers, decision-making can ultimately be challenging. Yes, even organizers feel queasy sometimes when it comes to booting our own stuff. Uneasiness is understandable due to the following concerns:
1. You might need the item someday, and who wants to spend time and money repurchasing what you already had?
2. You may experience guilt because someone you care about gave it to you but it was never your taste. We don’t wish to hurt others. Concern about their reaction if they found out you ditched it even if it was donated, is compassionate.
3. If you bought the item, you might believe it is wasteful to discard even if you choose to donate it. The more expensive, the more guilt. Been there, I know.
These are all valid concerns. And like all decisions, there are pros and cons to our actions, and sometimes biting the bullet for what serves you best in the current moment is what is needed. Here are 2 promises: 1. It will NOT be easy unless decision-making without concern for regret is a snap for you, but you can do difficult things and survive. 2. Clearing out unwanted stuff to create breathing room and space for the things you do wish to keep will pay off for you now and for those who will clear out your quarters someday.
What Price Is That Foot?
Here’s a bit of a reframe. What’s the cost of the square footage of your home? According to Zillow.com**, the median price per square foot in Portland as of September 2019 was $290. That means, a pile or 2 of papers on a desk or floor are eating away $290. Are those papers worth it? Now look at your countertop and roughly eyeball a square foot, not very big right? Can you believe that in some cities that small area equals all that dough? Unless you have lots of extra counter space to spare, wouldn’t you like to maximize every inch for potentially rolling out dough instead? Do you want squatters taking up space in your home? Or would you prefer to reserve room for things that make some type of impact? Your choice, no judgment. BTW, impact could equate to a smile, and that’s a wonderful answer.
The Some Day Dilemma
If you’re saving something because you might need it someday, you have several options. If it’s a common object, you might be able to borrow if from someone else. Libraries of Tools and other sharing forums are prevalent. You could gift it to a nearby family member (I know proximity is rare since families are often spread far and wide) who might need it more immediately or more often then borrow it back if you need it again. Or, if you donate it, consider it could make someone else’s life a heck of a lot easier if they don’t have the means to buy it. Oftentimes, those “someday” items including clothing are super difficult to wrap your head around releasing. If you have room, then don’t sweat it. Although keep in mind, your decision or burden on someone else to decide will have to be made in the future. I’m going through that now with my mom. To her credit, she has been a clear out Tasmanian Devil, yet there are some items like china that give her pause even though the china hasn’t been touched in years.
Dispose Quietly
As for releasing unwanted gifts, there is no need to mention to the gifter that you parted with something they gave you 15 years ago. If at some point they should ask what you did with it, you can be honest and let them know in a gentle way that your space was getting very tight and you needed to make some critical minimizing decisions but you appreciated their thoughtfulness nonetheless.
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
Getting Real With The Toughies
The 3 toughest types of items are memorabilia, heirlooms, and occasional use items. Here are my thoughts about how to make decisions. Caveat, IF you suspect or know that you’re a tactile processor (i.e., you learn or process tasks via touch, feel, sensing), then enlist the aid of someone to help you out. There is a real phenomenon known as a sympathetic response. Once you touch an object, you’re less likely to say adios.
To comfortably fit your belongings into your space, assess how much storage space exists in your residence or that you will have in your new digs. Specifically how much shelf, cabinet, or wall space is available for what you have without having to buy or build more in-home storage options or rent a storage unit. Keep this in mind as your goal to fit within. Think of it as clothes shopping. You’re not going to buy a size 0 dress if you’re an 8. Trying to squeeze ourselves into clothes several sizes too small is uncomfortable and not recommended unless we are making realistic progress toward downsizing our bods.
Find 5 boxes or bins or as a last resort use bags. Label each box as follows: Keep/Relocate, Gift, Donate, Recycle, and Trash. Nothing fancy, just readable.
Grab 3 items that are taking up room and you’re not sure if you should retain. Preferably select 3 that are in the same genre such as memorabilia, or books, or jewelry. Rank each of the 3 items in order of importance, sentimentality, usefulness, or value however you choose. Do this by imagining you have to flee your home due to an impending wildfire or tornado (sorry for that icky visual but it’s effective), which one of the 3 items would you grab if you couldn’t take all 3? Now set a timer for 5 seconds and prioritize #1. #2. and #3. Don’t over think it for now. And don’t try this with items that don’t belong to you unless you have the owner’s permission otherwise it may not end well for you.
Image by Willi Heidelbach from Pixabay
Place the #3 ranked item in the gift box if you wish to gift it to someone (check in with them to ensure they want it), donation box if donatable or recycling. If it’s in poor condition, you may have to trash it. If it is a tattered textile, there may be textile recycling in your area. FYI, rumor has it that these textiles often end up in third world country landfills or dumped in communities. If it’s a broken electronic, check for electronic or E-waste recycling facilities near by. Hazardous waste? Contact your city or county to find out their preferred disposal method. Medical Waste? Check with your pharmacy, police department, or waste hauler for advice on proper, safe disposal.
Place the #1 item in the keeper/relocate box. Once that box is filled, walk around your home and find sensible locations to store the objects. If you find you still don’t have room for all the keepers, you might need to repeat the exercise with the overflow items.
Now it is time to deal with the #2 items. Do you wish to keep them, release them or not sure? If they’ve outlived their purpose, put it in the appropriate goodbye box. If you absolutely must keep it, then put it in the Keeper box. Not sure? Grab 2 more like/same genre items or slightly similar. Reset the 5 second timer and repeat the exercise. Where did it fall this time? #1 or #3? You know the drill. If it is perpetually #2, try it one more time. Otherwise just buckle down and make a decision.
I hope this little exercise helps you to zero in on priority items in your life, clear out to gain you some room, and simplify. If you’re not sure about the instructions, feel free to reach out to sherri@thepracticalsort.com, and I will do my best to walk you through.
One more thought, the sooner you start, the more room you will have for the holiday gift onslaught.
**Zillow.com as of September 2019 median list price per square foot in Portland.
